F.A.R.B. – BIG PHARMA IS BAD

This can be your healthiest year ever. Follow my new segment, Throw A Fit With Rube, or, F.A.R.B.

TODAY: BIG PHARMA IS BAD

A man in Portland, OR, who we’ll call, “Damaged”, walked into a pharmacy for reading glasses and candy and ended up in a mental hospital against and for his will at the same time.
Pete Buttler, 261 Pine Lane, Medford, OR, loving husband and high school teacher and football coach, said the ordeal started when a pharmacist said he looked depressed. He took Binupazin, which caused Crazy Gambling Legs Syndrome. His legs lost $10,000 while he was sleeping. For that he took, Becauzofcorz, which caused out of body experiences, including opening for Black Oak Arkansas while he was sleeping. For this he took Knucklerzpan, which caused him to run into a doctor’s waiting room and punch a pregnant woman. This is known as Sad,Bad Clown Syndrome, for which he had to take another pill called Neuroconundrum. And now, “Damaged”, oligarchy levels have sky rocketed. If you have to do drugs, get them off the streets!

BE ALIVE

Iron Maiden is on the radio. Pretty heavy, something about fear of the gun, here on the run. It’s a live track I’m hearing now and the whole audience is chanting along. A very fierce setting. Yes, now they are chanting fear of the gun, I think. You can just feel the energy, enthusiasm, shot out of a cannon escapism, and larger than life intensity. Reminds me of that time I was at Norms and the waitress asked me what kind of dressing I wanted for my salad. Things went pretty smoothly, considering the choices, and me not hearing some of them and asking her to repeat them. Touch and go, man. Imagine that waitress at the Iron Maiden concert as the song I’m hearing now, plays. She’s relentless, trying to hit every one of the thousands in attendance.
”Well, we have ranch, thousand island, blue cheese, honey dijon, balsamic vinaigrette and french!”
”WHAT?”
”RANCH, THOUSAND ISLAND, BLUE CHEESE, HONEY DIJON, BALSAMIC VINAIGRETTE, AND FRENCH!”
”WHY?”
”FOR YOUR SALAD!”
”WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?”
Just imagine it and live your life in Tip Top fashion! TIP TOP, in the moment tablets. Drop one now!

F.A.R.B. – Herbs That Heal

This can be your healthiest year ever. Follow my new segment, Throw A Fit With Rube, or, F.A.R.B.

TODAY: HERBS THAT HEAL
-Emphugus chrilliou. This herb grows on the side of an active volcano on Java. Hundreds of young seminary students die each harvest bringing this in. This herb helps to support snap decisions during shortness of breath.
-Fadadak fadafiqious. This herb was first discovered centuries ago in Bangladesh at a car show. It can be used to summon demons from holy rivers and ease restless legs syndrome.
-Alpert and the Tijuana brass. This Herb eases lonely bull syndrome and stops folk singer night sweats. This herb was discovered at bullfights in Mexico during the 1950’s and is now grown at A&M Records in Los Angeles.
TO YOUR GOOD HEALTH EVERYONE!

Jake Johannsen drops by Bananaland

jake j

There’s a good reason Jake Johannsen has his own television stand up specials, and has done Letterman more than any other comic. He’s great! Jake and I go way back. Pure fun having him with me in Bananaland!

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iTunes launch party of Bananaland!

bananaland launch